Four Ways To Improve Workplace Communication
July 29th, 2010 Subscribe To Our Feed
Leading at Light Speed is a new leadership book by Eric Douglas describing the 10 Quantum Leaps to build trust, spark innovation, and create a high-performing organization. The following article is about “The Four Powers of Communication” described on Pages 228-324 in Chapter 9 of Leading at Light Speed.
The word communication literally means “to make common.” Making your needs known is the simplest way to look at it. At its highest level, communication means building strong, trusting relationships with people whose perspectives are very different from your own. The educator and psychotherapist Virginia Satir wrote, “Once a human being has arrived on this earth, communication is the largest single factor determining what kinds of relationships he makes with others and what happens to him in the world.” Your capability of being an exceptional leader is also determined by this.
Much of my work in developing leaders and leading organizations focuses on communication. Since publishing Straight Talk® in 1997, I’ve continued to develop my understanding that people can develop four different levels – or “powers” – of communication. Here’s a description of these four powers:
The First Power: Expressing Yourself.
From the moment we pop out of the womb, we start expressing what we want. We communicate we are hungry, or sad, or happy. Our ability to use words improves over time. We become able to name basic mental and emotional moods. By adulthood, we’ve formulated a vast variety of strategies to express our desires and feelings.
Yet even as adults, we are still working on this first power. Fear of potential rejection, judgment, or loss prevents adults from being direct about their desires. Learning to effectively express ourselves even when emotionally vested and vulnerable is one component of mastering the first power.
The trick is to learn how to express our “inner scripts” – the things that might embarrass us if we express them – in a way that shows we are genuinely conflicted about them. For example, in giving feedback to a boss who handled a situation with her team insensitively, you might say: “I have an inner script: While I know this might cost me my job, I would like to find a time when we could talk about how you might have handled that interaction more effectively.”
The Second Power: Listening and Responding.
Soon after we are born we also begin developing the ability to respond to others. We laugh at goofy faces. The moods of others can be felt by us. As we gain the use of language, we respond with words. Communication abilities are developed enough to build simple relationships by the time we start elementary school.
As we grow older, we learn how to participate in a conversation, recognizing that the other person is our equal and deserves our respect and attention. Communication habits form from mutual appreciation and trust.
At a more advanced level, people who master this second power can extract a deeper meaning from a conversation than simply what is said. They can paraphrase what they’ve heard. Interpreting the meanings of others, they are able to layer meanings on top of them.
Stronger ties of trust are fostered between them and others based on their ability to validate their interpretations. I call this “validating the exchange.”
The Third Power: Regulating Attention and Intention.
People with the third power show a level of self-awareness and self-control that distinguishes them from second power communicators. Evidence of introspection is visible in the way you connect with others. People with this power can vary their level of attention and their level of intent, thereby achieving high levels of emotional intelligence. Firstly, let’s address attention.
There are four levels of attention you can bring to any communication:
• Level 1: Volition. Is my attention voluntary or involuntary?
• Level 2: Consciousness. Am I in a highly conscious state or a routine state?
• Level 3: Attraction. Does the communication draw me in or push me away?
• Level 4:Creativity. Is my attention creative, analytical, or empathetic? Am I varying it based on the situation?
Third power communicators are aware of each level of attention. Moreover, depending on the situation, they display the social and political awareness to select the appropriate setting within each level. For example, in Level 4, if they’re talking to someone who’s having problems with a colleague, they may choose to respond analytically: “I’ve had similar experiences. I know how it feels to go through what you are. This is the way I handled it.” Or empathetically: “I can appreciate why you’re feeling that way. What can I do to assist?” Or creatively: It’s amazing that happened to you. Let’s think of some ways you could deal with the situation.”
Third power communicators are also conscious of their intent and can vary it. There are four types of intent: affirmative, controlling, defensive, and relinquishing. The only positive is the first. Conflict results from the others. Third power communication is characterized by the ability to use affirming intent most the time. Even in tense disagreements they’ll say: “I understand what you are saying and I respect the way you feel, despite my not agreeing with you.”
Regulating the levels of attention and intent enables third power communicators to show a high level of emotional intelligence. Having popularized the concept of emotional intelligence, Daniel Goleman explains five components for fostering more rewarding communication habits.
These qualities of emotional intelligence enable your feelings to be an asset rather than a liability in a political world. People with good political skills know how to read cues. They understand that there may be political limits to what is possible. Most importantly they understand the relevance of politics. Successful leaders need to be masters of political self-management. To say in public to your boss, “I think we could have handled this situation much better,” is to put him on the defensive. Privately ask to discuss how they’d prefer a similar situation be handled going forward?” is more diplomatic and politically savvy.
Political self management is just as important in small companies as it is in large, and vice versa. A small software company was rendered nearly helpless when two senior executives made a move to buy its most profitable division. The final decision of the CEO was to let both executives go, regardless of their tenure with the company. Their casualties are attributed to sub-prime self management.
Part of emotional intelligence is speaking consciously from the “I.” For example, rather than saying “that wasn’t clear” to someone who’s just suggested an idea, you could say: “I feel confused. Can you clarify this for me?” People with this power can also communicate subtle nuances and flavors of emotions. For example, you might say to a colleague who’s just gotten promoted: “I’m jealous you got that promotion, but I’m also really happy for you. Excuse me if I seem just a bit conflicted.”
In sum, to assess your third power skills, ask yourself:
“Am I conscious of my attention? Do I exert control over it? When I’m listening, am I fully in the conversation? Do I tune my mind to hear not only the things the other person is saying, but the things she is not saying?”
Ask yourself whether your intent is also under your control. “Am I requesting quality solidifying questions to gain a greater understanding? Or am I always busy thinking about what I want to say and planning my response? Do I affirm the other person’s point of view, even if I disagree with it? What is my state of mind?”
Part of the third power is also asking powerful questions. Powerful questions let people know that you are genuinely interested. They can lighten the majority of very tense situations. If you say, “I’m genuinely curious to understand how you feel about this issue,” that’s a powerful question. If you say, “Help me understand your reasoning,” that’s a powerful question. When you ask questions designed to give you real insights into the thinking of another person, you’re displaying the third power.
So ask yourself whether your attention and intention are under control and you’re able to manage them to ask powerful questions. if you can answer “yes,” then it’s a good sign you’ve mastered the third power of communication.
The Fourth Power: Recognizing and Mirroring The “Style” of Others.
People with the fourth power can take their communication one step further: they can vary their communication based on an accurate understanding of the other person’s communication style and the assumptions that underlie that style. they have the self-awareness to identify the other person’s frame of reference and adapt their own style accordingly – and thus help facilitate productive communication among people with different and often conflicting points of view.
To master the fourth power, you have to recognize that even when people are speaking the same language, they may be talking and listening past each other within different frames of reference and operating assumptions. You have to learn how to identify these different styles, and then learn how to vary your communication style depending on the situation. The fourth power means knowing how to foster better communication by varying your style.
In my book Straight Talk: Turning Communication Upside Down for Strategic Results, I described the four different communication styles: the director, expresser, thinker and harmonizer. Each of these styles operates from a different set of assumptions. Here’s a quick snapshot:
Director: Directors are hard-charging, action-oriented leaders, focused on results. The director’s style of communicating is assertive and task-oriented. Directors operate on the assumption that quick action and decisiveness are valued, and that people are rewarded for getting things done, the sooner the better. Directors frame the world as a competitive place of action and decisiveness.
Expresser: Expressers focus on leading through their creative ideas. Assertion and social consciousness define the style of the Expresser. their operating assumption is that people should feel free to voice their opinions, think outside of the box, and articulate what they feel. they like to entertain. expressers frame the world as a place where people are recognized for their personal creativity and achievement.
Thinker: thinkers are detail-oriented leaders and focused on what it takes to get the job done right. The thinker’s communication style is less assertive than the Director and Expresser. Like Directors, Thinkers are also task oriented; they assume that there’s a best way to do things – and it’s their job to make sure no mistakes are made. They feel rewarded when a task or project is done well. They frame the world as a place in which to solve problems and get things done.
Harmonizer: Harmonizers lead by supporting others. Their communication style is also less assertive than the Director and Expresser. Being people oriented is a quality Harmonizers have in common with Expressers. They operate on the assumption that they need to look after the needs of the team and other people’s welfare. They feel rewarded when the team performs well. They frame the world as a place where relationships with people are the most important aspect of their lives and prefer to work collaboratively.
No one of these styles is exclusive to any person, rather people encompass all four in varying ratios. To understand how you communicate, you need to know how strongly you exhibit each of these styles.
The fourth power encompasses the highest level of self-awareness. Because they are conscious of people’s styles, people with this power can use that awareness to shape how they listen. This is bonafide powerful listening. As they listen, they are able to apply the matrix of communication styles. They can quickly identify the underlying frame of reference and respond in that frame. For the person being listened to, it’s an amazing experience. “I feel she genuinely understands what I am saying when we talk,” is one way it has been described.. The difference can be gauged by the reaction you elicit. When you engage in the fourth power, you elicit honest, heartfelt trust. People impart their vulnerabilities to others. People feel that you truly value their point of view.
A previous dean at Harvard Business School was one of the most effective fourth power communicators I’ve met. A Thinker may be very analytical and detail oriented. When talking to an Expresser she is playful and and an animated storyteller. When talking to a Director, she would cut right to the chase, and the discussion would be over in five minutes. And when talking to a Harmonizer, she would begin with some small talk before introducing the real topic of discussion.
What’s important about the fourth power is that it can be learned. It begins by learning your own style with this free communication survey.You then need to learn how to decipher other people’s styles.
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